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5 Things You Should Never Say While Negotiating – Part 1

This is the first of a two-part article adapted from a Jan 2011 INC. Magazine article of the same title.

Every business owner spends some time negotiating, whether it is with customers, suppliers, investors, or would-be employees.  Most business owners are street smart, and seem to naturally perform well in negotiations.  You probably have a trick or two—some magic phrases to say, perhaps—that can help you gain the upperhand.  But, often, the moment you get into trouble in a negotiation is when something careless just slips out.  If you are new to negotiation, or feel it is an area where you can improve, check out these tips on precisely what not to say.

  1. “I’m the final decision maker.” At the beginning of many negotiations, someone will typically ask, “Who are the key stakeholders on your side, and is everyone needed to make the decision in the room?” For most entrepreneurs, the answer, of course, is “Yes.”  Who besides you is ever needed to make a decision?  Isn’t one of the joys of being an entrepreneur that you get to call the shots?  Yet in negotiations, particularly with larger organizations, this can be a trap.  You almost always want to establish at the beginning of a negotiation that there is some higher authority with whom you must speak prior to saying yes.  In a business owner’s case, that mysterious overlord could be a key investor, a partner, or the members of your advisory board.  The point is, while you will almost certainly be making the decision yourself, you do not want the opposing negotiators to know that you are the final decision maker, just in case you get cornered as the conversation develops.  Particularly in a high-stakes deal, you will almost certainly benefit from taking an extra 24 hours to think through the terms.  For once, be (falsely) humble: pretend like you aren’t the person who makes all of the decisions.
  1. The word “between.” It often feels reasonable—and therefore like progress—to throw out a range. With a customer, that may mean saying “I can do this for between $10,000 and $15,000.”  With a potential hire, you could be tempted to say, “You can start between April 1 and April 15.”  But that word between tends to be tantamount to a concession, and any shrewd negotiator with whom you deal will swiftly zero-in on the cheaper price or the later deadline.  In other words, you will find that by saying the word between you will automatically have conceded ground without extracting anything in return.
  1. “I think we’re close.” We’ve all experienced deal fatigue: The moment when you want so badly to complete a deal that you signal to the other side that you are ready to settle on the details and move forward. The problem with arriving at this crossroads, and announcing you’re there, is that you have just indicated that you value simply reaching an agreement over getting what you actually want.  And a skilled negotiator on the other side may well use this moment as an opportunity to stall, and thus to negotiate further concessions.  Unless you actually face extreme time pressure, you shouldn’t be the party to point out that the clock is loudly ticking in the background.  Create a situation in which your counterpart is as eager to finalize the negotiation (or, better yet: more eager!) than you are.

To be continued…

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